


Someone needs a bath

by Gozzer



Series: Treasure [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Crack Treated Seriously, Developing Relationship, Gen, Modern Girl in Middle Earth, One Shot, Rivendell | Imladris, Snippet, part of a bigger story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28701585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gozzer/pseuds/Gozzer
Summary: Aarre catches the dwarves taking a bath in one of Rivendell's fountains.This is part of a bigger story I'm writing, have a look at what not make it in.
Relationships: Thorin Oakenshield & Original Female Character(s), Thorin's Company & Original Character(s)
Series: Treasure [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2103897
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Someone needs a bath

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a bigger story that I'm writing and this section might not make into the rest of the story.

The sounds of splashing and yelling brought Aarre through the gardens towards the noise. She rounded a statue to find the dwarves naked. All but two of them were in the fountains and six of them were in the middle of a game of chicken. Even from her distance she could pick each of them out now that her vision had cleared up. Bombur was up on the arm of the fountain lady ready to jump in, Bofur and Bifur were in the bowl at the top, Balin was on his own in a separate section of the fountain. Dwalin, Gloin, and Fili were in one stack of the chicken game while Thorin, Oin, and Kili were in the other. Dori popped up in the top bowl just as Bofur fell over the waterfall and Bombur jumped into the water; splashing everyone. Nori and Ori were the only two not in the fountain. What really caught her attention was the rag in Nori’s hand that he had in a position to hit his younger brother with. Aarre picked up a small stone and tossed it at his head to gain his attention. When it hit him he turned around to find her and opened his mouth to shout to her only to have her hold up a finger to her mouth to indicate silence. Then she beckoned him over. 

“If yer here to tell us off-” 

“No, none of that.” She gave him a grin before nodding to the rag in his hand. “It'll work better if you ring it out first. Get most of the water out of it.” She mimicked ringing out the cloth that had Nori looking at her like she had grown two heads. “I used to do it with the other kids at the orphanage. As we got older we figured out to make each other bleed with towels.”

“I’ve got no interest in that.” Nori shook his head. 

“You wouldn’t be able to anyway. It takes years worth of practice to get the right technique.” The look he gave her made it clear he didn’t believe her. “Fine, give me the rag if you don’t believe me.” There was a mischievous grin on her lips that had Nori narrowing his eyes at her but he held out the blue rag to her. She twisted it to get the last drops of water out until the rag was only damp. Then she grabbed one end in each hand. Her arms were lifted to her chest and as she let go of one end her other arm went out with as much force as she could muster. The corner of the rag met Nori’s shoulder in a sharp snap. 

“Ow!” He jumped at the sharp sting and Aarre gave him a proud grin. There was a welt on his skin with the tiniest of drops of blood coming to the surface. “Forget the lads teaching ya to fight, just use that against the orcs.” 

“I told you I was good at it. Good enough to make a dwarf bleed with a towel.” For a moment the two of them laughed at the ridiculousness of her statement before she handed the towel back. “Let’s see if you can pull off startling your brother.” She tugged her tank top over her head even as Nori started protesting. 

“What’re ye doin’ lass?” 

“My stuff needs washed anyway, and I’m not missing out on this.” Both of them walked towards the fountain but she stopped short to take off her shoes and socks. She lifted her head to watch Nori smack his brother’s back end with the towel and cause the young dwarf to shout in surprise. It had her laughing and bringing all of the dwarves’ attention to her. They all froze in what they were doing even as she shrugged off her jeans. “Don’t stop on my account, I’m joining you lot.”

“Lass, maybe that’s not the best idea.” Bofur popped up over the edge of the second level fountain.

“Oh please, I grew up in a building of mostly boys. There is nothing you could do that I haven’t already seen, or very well done myself.” She stepped out of her jeans and moved for the fountain in only her sports bra and underwear. All of the dwarves avoided looking at her even after seeing her like this with the trolls; except for Nori, who had already slept with her partially naked the second day she was with them. When she reached Nori’s side she took the rag from his hands and held in her attack position. “If you have anymore to say on this I welcome you to. But you will be met with no mercy.” That got them looking back at her and the towel with mild confusion.

“I’d agree with her, lads. She’s already hit me.” Nori turned to show off his ‘battle scar’ with a laugh. The youngest of the dwarves shrugged and went back to trying to drown each other in the water, Ori jumping in to join them. In fact the only one that really seemed to be standing firm about her joining was Dwalin; surprisingly Dori only gave the young dwarves a command to not stare but allowed it.

“We have a challenger!” Aarre hopped up on the edge of the fountain in her theatrics. She paced the length of it while showing off her weapon of choice. “Master Dwalin with naught a weapon in sight.” She pointed to the dwarf standing with his arms crossed over his chest and glaring up at her. “Against, Miss Aarre armed with a blue towel.” The towel was held up and flicked out with one hand as if to show off its power. Then she turned to Dwalin with a serious face. “This is your last chance to surrender.”

“I’m not agreeing to this, lass.” While Dwalin spoke Aarre crouched down to dip the towel in the cool water. She stood back up and rang it out for every last drop. “Get off the edge before you slip.”

“You have been given your final warning. You have chosen death.” Aarre took up her fighting position once more. When Dwalin only gave her an unimpressed glare she pulled her arms back. At this point all of the dwarves had stopped what they were doing to watch this mini battle of wills play out. “How shall you take this blow? Honorably to the face or cowardly to the chest?” Fili and Kili shouted out their votes that soon had all of the others except for Balin and Bombur giving their opinion. 

“Honorably, like any dwarf warrior.” Thorin put in his vote and Aarre nodded. 

“It has been settled.” She stood on one leg and offered a bow to Thorin. “By word of the king, the dwarf warrior shall go down honorably.” The second she straightened back up she whipped the towel out. It cracked in the quiet air. She took half a moment to see the welt on Dwalin’s cheek and the drop of blood before dropping the towel. “It has been done, my king.” Her voice was solemn with the words. Then she fell sideways into the fountain. The splash of the water brought an end to the silence as the dwarves burst out laughing. 

“Well, let’s see how bad the damage is, brother.” Balin said while Aarre was coming up out of the water. Everyone was watching Dwalin as he turned around. To show the long welt on his cheek and a couple drops of blood. 

“How does one even do that with a towel?” Fili asked, leaning over the edge of the second fountain with Kili, Ori, and Bofur in a row. 

“Talent, I’m afraid. And several years of practice.” Aarre pulled herself up to the second level and rolled over the edge into the water, popping back up soon enough with her found towel. “Would you like to feel the wrath of the king’s executioner as well, my prince?” The same role she had picked up was slipped back on as she rang out the towel once more. “Would anyone else like to meet the challenge? Provided the king has no qualms against such competition?” She peeked over the edge to look at Thorin. Who was fake contemplating something with an exaggerated expression of deep thought. 

“Very well.” Thorin dipped his head in agreement. “My executioner, you may continue on with your challenges.” With the go ahead Aarre got into position once more to carry on her skit. Said skit carried on for some time until many of the dwarves had begged for mercy and several welts had been given on the king’s word. Aarre herself had a few good licks as well given to her by a sneaky thief that narrowly escaped death and two young princes seeking glory for themselves. By the time everyone decided it was time to get out of the fountain she was ready to sleep for the next week with how much she had tired herself out.


End file.
